


Thank you, next

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: & would've been (spoiler) had she not gotten rid of the timeline where dan dates her for a bit, Asha just wants to be loved uwu, Break Up, M/M, Post-Break Up, dan and phil break up, dan is a dumbass, harry is an artist, he helps out the drag queens on the weekends, he'd like her but wouldn't care enough to get As invested as he was with phil, phil is essentially non existent in this verse unless referred to in dan's memories, so at least she has a talking cat ya?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 16:31:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17124821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dan is grateful to his ex, Phil, who had taught him everything. He's so grateful that he wants him back. Except he doesn't want to admit the mistake he made by losing him in the first place, so he tries to move on. Includes cute artists, a smelly candle, a talking cat and a psychic that talks to it. Also, time skips and a timeline of dating that was avoided by choice.prompt: an angsty fic post break up where one of them has had 1 or 2 other partners after like a year or something and the other is still in love and heartbroken





	Thank you, next

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dnp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dnp/gifts).



(pain)

The smell of sweat in the air and the damp feeling of dancing in a crowd is not pleasant to say the least, but Dan couldn’t complain with the attractive hunk grinding against him. He would’ve cursed Louise for dragging him to the gay bar if he hadn’t desperately needed exactly this.

After weeks of staying indoors, often ending up in Louise’s guest bedroom and moping, she had had enough. Nor could she bear to see her best friend in such a melancholy state, so she did what every good friend would do.

Ever since his break-up with Phil, Dan couldn’t seem to live up to the resilient smiles he put on to fool the others. Everyone knew how long they had been together and it was bound to take a while to stop hurting. For some reason Dan didn’t seem to want to give himself a break, to think about what he had and what he lost, maybe that was intentional.

He had sulked at the bar for about two seconds before Louise pointed out the man in the knitted jumper looking at him with interest. When Dan looked up and met his stare, the man didn’t look away, instead he held the eye contact and gave a slight smirk.

The man walked over and bought him a drink, up close Dan could notice the eyeliner on his lash line and the rosy tint of his lips. The man noticed Dan’s eyes tracing over his features and leaned in and said in his ears,

“You are perfect… for my art project, would you be interested in taking part?”

“Woah, at least buy me dinner first, tiger.” Dan replied, amused.

“I’ll make you breakfast. How about that?” he retorted.

Perhaps it was unlike him to go along with something so dodgy, but he was tired of the numbing routine of his life. Especially the years he had spent with Phil, sometimes they’d have to pencil sex into their schedule and forgo it. He decided to leave othe languor of his life behind when he made the decision to go home with Harry that night. Surely, it was time to try something new. Dan tried to avoid thinking of where he’d heard that before.

Straddling his thighs, having Harry under him was a sight to behold. His grey eyes twinkled with mischief and were enhanced by the kohl lining them. Rather than look oddly emo, Harry just looked mesmerising; his thick lashes batted at Dan which drew him out of his reverie.

Dan pressed kisses to the freckled bridge of his nose and locked his hands in the red hair at the nape of his neck. He tried to stow the thought of soft ginger roots under his fingers at the back of his mind.

His hand sneaked down Harry's pants, 'that'll do’ he thought as he applied pressure to the bulge.

When his palm came in contact with Harry's cock, Dan couldn't help but compare the difference in girth and length from what he was used to.

He was well acquainted with Phil's cock. It was so much prettier he thought, for no logical reason. Dan just let himself think of the times he spent sucking on it purely for comfort, and how Phil let him.. do that. Understood him.

He was distracted when he took Harry's dick in his mouth, but was brought back to reality when Harry decided to pull on his hair, making him to whimper.  

“You are so cute. I can’t wait to ruin everyone else for you.”

Dan couldn’t help but feel like everyone else had already been ruined for him, including the man under him.

The next morning, when Dan woke up in an unfamiliar room filled with art and attempted to put his clothes back on and leave, he was stopped by

“I’m a man of my word. I have the perfect idea for a painting on your back, we can discuss it. Breakfast?” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.

And Dan stayed.

____

“Who’s Phil? I never really stood a chance, from that first night when you called out his name instead of mine.” Harry mentioned scathingly.

“I had just gotten out of a relationship I couldn't control that!”

“Well, it was foolish of me to imagine being anything more than rebound when you took the wrong name every time I kissed you awake.” 

Dan had to leave.

(patience)

Sleepless nights spent staring at the ceiling forced him to go to the store, and buy the one thing he detested. Dan couldn’t believe he was doing this, but.. Needs must. He headed to the scented candle aisle that assaulted his nose instantaneously.

“Let’s get this over with.” he said in a low mumble.

Pulling up his sweater covered hands to shield his nose, he brought this onto himself. All that made the Dan and Phil house theirs, was bought together, or with the other in mind. Everything from gaming consoles to christmas presents were meant to be shared. Now that he was out, he had nothing to call his own.

He missed home, and he needed sleep. The simplest way to recreate home would be to fool his brain with an ‘olfactory evoked recall’. At least the wikipedia searches at ungodly hours told him so.

After a while of eyeing the racks, he found the hideous item he was looking for. It had a picture of flannel on the label, Dan could only imagine what kind of person thought that would encourage people to buy it. By the time he reached out for the object he spent berating in his head, a much shorter woman somehow sneaked in front of him and reached up for it.

‘Hah, serves you right’ he thought as she tried but failed to stretch and reach the top shelf. Dan lifted his hand and reached the candle with such ease that oozed arrogance. Just as he decided to smoothly walk away from the ‘crime scene’ as he had dubbed it in his head, the lady looked up at him with a sparkle in her eyes.

“That’s so kind of you, thank you so much!” she said with smile.

She almost snatched the jar out of Dan’s hand before he stopped admiring her honey complexion and remembered what he was there for.

“Sorry lady, but I absolutely need this smelly candle. And I got it, so, bye.”

“Trust me buddy, I need this more than you do, besides it sounds like you don’t even like it!”

“I don’t, but that’s none of your business.”

“Listen man, I need this candle to make a living! My business is at stake!”

Thus began their tug of war. Their insistent voices got louder by the minute, forcing a shop assistant to intervene.

“What’s going on?” he asked eyeing the couple warily.

“Oh, this kind gentleman was just getting this candle off the rack i couldn’t reach! So sweet of him. Excuse me.” she said as she made the run for it.

Asha was glad someone had interrupted them, the height difference between the two gave her ideas. Ideas of kneeing the man in the groin and she had gotten quite close to executing it. By the time she reached the cashier, the man had already caught up with her, curse his long legs, she thought.

She smiled smugly as she handed the candle to the cashier for billing. The smile slid off her face however, when she reached for her wallet. The wallet that was seemingly absent from her purse. The very wallet that she forgot at the front desk of her shop.

Dan was seething with rage beside her. She turned to him slowly, too cowardly to meet his eyes.

“Uh, it seems I’ve forgotten my wallet. So uh, you can have it I guess.” she said in a dejected tone.

And just with that the anger within Dan evaporated. Suddenly he felt bad for her, this was the most interaction he’d had in days that didn’t bore him. Meanwhile, she walked out of the store with her shoulders slumped.

After purchasing the candle, Dan walked out and found her sat on the bench outside. He wondered what her story was, surely no sane person would go head to head against him for a candle. A bad scented candle, at that.

“So…. why did you need this candle..?” he asked inquisitively pausing for her name.

She was surprised as her contender sat down beside her, the candle in his hand. Perhaps he really had overdone the bluntness. 

“-Asha. It’s something really stupid.” she muttered.

She clicked her heels as she spoke.

“Can’t be as stupid as my reason to be honest.” Dan replied.

If stupidity was a contest, Dan was sure to emerge victorious in every round in his opinion. From his past experiences though, he had a feeling he attracted worthy competition.

“I’m a psychic and can’t give accurate readings without that candle.”

Out of everything, Dan had definitely not seen that coming. Though, he was still sure his reason was somehow worse than that. Dan truly wondered what about him always attracted weird people, but he was used to this kind of craziness. She paused, expecting laughter.

“How about you give me a free reading and I’ll let you keep the candle?” Dan offered.

“Wait, seriously? I’ll give you the best future reading ever, just you wait!”

The excitement in her voice was palpable, she jumped up and pulled Dan up as well. She managed to drag him by the arm two streets over and entered the mystic shop in the corner.

“Make yourself comfortable!” she went to the back and returned with a lit candle, she put it down on the satin covered table. 

A gust of wind entered the store at that moment and wafted Dan with the smell of candle. It made his eyes fill up with tears of longing, he hated that it had this effect on him. At the same time, he felt warm, at home.

“I’m Asha, what type of fortunetelling would you like? We offer tarot readings, crystal balls, spirit contacting... banana fortune and all that other stuff you white people find spiritual”

She trailed off, noticing how Dan’s eyes had glazed over.

Dan had always been a cynic and he was never going to believe this crap, he remembered all the times he’d honoured Phil’s request to not put shoes on the table though. Some of his superstitions had rubbed off on him. Banana fortunetelling seemed like fun but he decided to settle for tarot, for old times sake.

“King of hearts.. You didn't think it could happen to you, but it has: you are in love with a married  man. The cards show a forbidden relationship, which, however, may for the moment only be in your mind, and has no real basis. It is also possible that a married man around you has his eye on you. Whatever happens, the cards announce a revelation during the days of December to come. It won't be long because this love has been forgotten, and now it has to come out in the open. This will put things in order so they can resume their normal run.”

Dan throws his head back and starts laughing hysterically, when he’s done guffawing he looked up to see Asha smiling at him with a gentle smile.

“I’m sorry it was just..” he trailed off, unsure of how to proceed without offending.

“Grossly inaccurate? Yeah, that happens at first. Don’t worry about it, now, I want you to think of your future and your desires and pick 4 more cards from the deck. Take your time.” she said turning serious.

 

"The Pentacles: Feeling secure brings out the best in you. When you feel secure you can put your guards down and love with all your heart. Seven of Pentacles reversed indicates impatience and moving forward before the time is ripe."

"Three of Swords denotes heartbreak. sorrow, pain and separation. Sometimes the separation is only temporary, other times it is final."

"Ten of Wands reversed indicates fear of responsibilities, and incapability to keep on top of things. The seeker might be unmotivated and ready to walk away from their duties. The Wands: When someone can connect with you, you are theirs forever."

"The Cups: Creativity is what makes your heart overflow. When someone can inspire you they become your muse and your most beloved person. Two of Cups reversed indicates being afraid of love and relationship. The seeker might be dreaming of love, but when it comes down to actually having one, the fear of rejection and abandonment gets in the way."

“You’ve gone quiet.” Asha said, knowingly after a long pause.

Dan didn’t look up from the cards laid in front of him, they were all right. No matter how much he had tried to evade the truth and move on, he knew that he has suffered a loss. A loss of something that was everything to him.

It was clear that it was everything to Phil too, his proposal had confirmed these soppy thoughts as facts. Dan knew he didn’t hurt Phil when he turned him down, he knows that Phil would’ve waited, stood by his side till his answer changed. What hurt Phil was Dan walking away, it hurt Dan too, more than he wanted to admit.

“I know it’s a lot. But I see a lot in your future. This is not the end of the road for you. In fact some choices can lead you to… our future as well.” she added affirmatively.

Dan looked up, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Asha took that moment to get a hold of his hand, turned it over and traced the lines.

“You’ve been so used to the familiarity, leaving that behind means a bumpy ride for you, I think you knew that already. Like, a roller coaster! It’s not all bad, but it will end with you taking a loop the loop and seeking what you foolishly let go of.”

He didn’t have time to be offended, he knew she was right. Even if he had his reasons, fears of being left or ruining things, Phil always understood and helped him face them. The one time he should’ve been brave, he didn’t.

“So what should I do? What can I do, I’ve ruined it all now so that I wouldn’t ruin it later.” his voice breaking. Dan hid his face in his hands.

His hands… that could've been adorned by the ring. The ring that Phil clearly spent an eternity looking for and hiding from Dan. It was perfect, black platinum with a silver stripe down the middle.

When he stopped himself from thinking about it and opened his eyes, Asha had brought up a display of rings. Glittering gems and stones, embedded into rings with intricate designs. Only one of them had a chance though, the one with a simple sapphire and silver details. It would sit perfectly on Phil’s finger.

“You pay me by cash or card and then go correct your mistake. Sooner rather than later, you know?” she made a show of winking.

____

“And he thought that buying a candle could fix the longing in his heart, idiot.” she said as she counted the notes, putting them down to pet her cat that merged with the black tablecloth. 

“Well you made sure it did, Asha.” her familiar, Hera replied.

(love)

“Sorry doesn't cut it. I know.”

This was met with silence and blue eyes, cold as ice staring at him.

“I don't want to be that manipulative fuck, but you know I get scared and you sprung that on me!” Dan said, sounding harried and tense.

“You knew I'd wait though. I told you it didn't have to happen immediately. I'm getting old and people are expecting things.”

This much was factual, especially since Phil brought it up after coming back from meeting his extended family. They definitely would’ve interrogated him about his future and life before setting him up with some random girl without being asked. Somehow even that affected Dan, he disliked the thought that Phil had proposed because he was pushed to do it.

“That's.. exactly what freaked me out. My family doesn't expect anything from me anymore and I don't care about disappointing them. But your family.. I didn't want to face the opportunity of ever disappointing them.”

“What about hurting me? That didn't cross your mind?” Phil's eyes shone with tears, he didn't meet Dan's eyes.

“It's the only thing that mattered. But somehow my brain convinced me that I'd hurt you more by staying with you, by tying you down with me.”

“That wasn't for you to decide. You don't know the future.”

Phil lifted his hand up to wipe away a tear that ran down his face.

“How much it'd hurt me didn't cross my mind. Maybe if I was a better person I'd say ‘thank you, next’ and move on. But I can't. I can't say that to you.”

“Well you did, Dan.”

“What if I tried to reverse it? What if I get down on my knees and proposed to you right now?” Dan said as he fished the velvet box out of his pocket, and bent down.

“Trying to one up me now too?” Phil's wide eyes betrayed his nonchalant tone.

“Phil, I am not deserving of you. But instead of running away, I will always try to become worthy. I've tried, but I'll never love anyone as much as I love you. So will you please forgive my dumbass and marry me?”

“What if I say no just to spite you, so you know how it feels too?” Phil covered his face, barely containing the tears.

“You wouldn't do that because you love me too much. And you're not cruel, like I was. You're kind and make me want to be kind too.”

“i'll marry you, stop with the flattery now.” Phil bent down and tackled Dan over.

The two of them in a huddle on the floor somehow managed to slip the rings on each other's fingers.

“I’m doing this for the tax benefits. Nothing else, don’t get ideas.” Phil whispered into Dan's neck.

____

Asha looked away from the crystal ball.

“It's better this way, Asha” meowed Hera 

“It would've hurt considerably more if you fell in love with him, wasted months investing in someone who couldn't do the same.”

“Would they really be wasted though, he clearly likes me in the last few months before he leaves me.”

“Not enough apparently. Or he wouldn't come and buy the ring at your store for his ex”

“His soulmate, you mean.”

She couldn't help but be glad for Dan when she thought of reuniting him with his soulmate. She did that, or she helped at least. And that was enough, her time would come too, eventually.

#    
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh i think i skimped out on the "other is still in love" because dan is Both in this fic and im sorry this is shit , i had a good idea in mind but not the skills to execute it the way i wanted. still, i hope you enjoyed this! monstrosity! but i tried! so, merry christmas.


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